#30DaysofAutismAcceptance – Day 2 : Passing

Talk about passing and/or being out. Are you out as an autistic? How have people reacted? Do they treat you differently after they found out? Do you attempt to pass. If you do try to pass have you experienced autistic burnout from trying to pass?

 

Well if I wasn’t out as autistic, I guess I am now.

I’ve always been quite open about having Aspergers/being autistic, even before I actually knew what it meant myself.

In the last few years where I have learnt about autism, I’m a lot more open about it now. Mostly because I can explain what it is now. Rather than just saying I’m autistic and leaving in at that.

How have people reacted? Well the way that people reacts is strange really. The most common reaction I get after I tell people I’m autistic is: “Really? You don’t seem autistic” … I never really know how I’m meant to feel about this … Am I meant to be happy that I can fake being not autistic … Am I meant to be glad I don’t fit into the stereotypes of autism that people have formed?

Or the other favourite reaction is that they point out some child in their family also has autism … I also never know what to say to this … I don’t know if they want my advice … If they just don’t know what else to say … I’m a 26 year old man sorry mate … I don’t have much in common with your prepubescent nephew … Except that we have autism.

Do people treat me differently? Not really … You get the quick burst of recognition when you meet another autistic close to your age, and you suddenly think finally someone who can understand me … then you remember that mostly all autistics are about as different as all neurotypicals … Sometimes it works though and you have enough in common to become autism amigos (never use that phrase again).

Do I attempt to pass, Oh god how I attempt to pass. The real me wants nothing more than to hide alone in a warm dark room and shut the world out. But I can’t do that … I also can’t be the real me outside, it tends to offend, annoy or plain insult people. So I hide in plain sight, I blend as well as I can (apparently I do it too well).

But passing for that long and for that many people takes it toll. When I experience burnout I spectacularly crash and burn. I turn into a hermit and hide away in my house with all the curtains closed. No need to pass when I’m all alone… But then I miss people.

7 Reasons I Recommend Resident Evil 7

Resident Evil VII: Bio-hazard was released worldwide on the 24th of January 2017. It marked Resident Evil’s main series debut on current-gen consoles.

Since being announced at E3 last year, fans were quick to dismiss the fact that it was first person, and seemed to be more of a reboot for the series rather than a canonical entry.

I strayed away from any leaks, early reviews and or debates until I could eventually play it and judge it for myself.

I picked it up on launch day and quickly realised that fans were wrong to doubt the direction that the series had gone in.

I know its early days of 2017, but so far this has been my game of the year and if you have not played the masterpiece that is RE7 yet, I’m going to give you seven reasons that I recommend you stop whatever you are doing right now and go play this amazing game.

 

1.That Main Theme Song

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If a game has a killer song on the soundtrack I am usually sold. Kingdom Hearts’ “Simple & Clean” is one that still gets played on a daily basis, even though the first game was brought out in 2002.

Resi’s “Go Tell Aunt Rhody” is a haunting piece of music, which I am sure will still be in my playlist in 2027. The song is a cover of an old folk song, which was quite dark in itself, but the game’s version is positively twisted. Full of whispers, snarling lyrics, and holds even more meaning for anyone who has completed the game.

2.Jack

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Jack Baker, the patriarch of the Baker family is one serious bad motherfucker. He is the primary antagonist for the first two thirds of the game. Jumping out at just the right time to make sure your underwear is never fresh for too long.

The seemingly indestructible psychopath is responsible for some of the toughest boss encounters of the game. As no matter what you do to the old man, he just keeps coming, mocking you, and delivering excellent lines such as “Welcome to the family son” before he knocks you the fuck out.

Later in the game you finally get some back story on The Bakers and why they are the way they are, and I’m not going to spoil it here, but it will leave you with a completely different view of the murderous mad man.

3. The Environment

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The Baker’s plantation is an environment in which you never feel truly safe. Resident Evil began with a house and this is a brilliant callback to the series’ roots.

Whether its the dining table full of human body parts, the overgrown green house, or the basement full of horrors. Every inch of the Baker’s household makes you feel like an unwelcome intruder. You will be left both eager to explore and dreading each new room as you explore the complex corridors of the haunting homestead.

There are other places that the character visits towards the end of the game, but they do not compare to the sadistic dwelling of RE7’s starring baddies.

4. Jump Scares

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The entire game is available to be played in VR, two words, fuck that! I almost had a heart attack on more than twenty occasions during my play through of the game, and i was playing in quite a well-lit room in the daytime.

Some of these you could tell were made with VR in mind, but that doesn’t make it any less scary to the normal TV set player. My advice to anyone playing it, take regular breaks. I usually lasted about an hour each session, and then my nerves were shot.

5. Mia

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The whole reason for Ethan travelling to the god forsaken hellhole that is The Baker’s house, is due to a message he receives from his girlfriend that he suspected to be dead.

When he arrives at the Guest House he realises that Mia is definitely not dead. Which is good news, the bad news is she seems to be suffering from a split personality disorder. One minute she loves you, the next minute she’s coming at you with a kitchen knife.

Now, I’m sure anyone reading this has had psycho exes, but Mia takes it to the extreme.

6. You can fight back

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Too many ‘Survival Horror’ games from the last few years have you playing as a character who cannot defend themselves at all. Usually you are armed with a camcorder, but when it came to engaging with enemies, your character had the combat experience of a paper towel.

Now I’m not saying that Ethan can fight and win all encounters, but he can fight. you actually assemble quite an impressive range of weaponry by the end of the game. But save for a small part in the final third, you never feel overpowered. This is due to a shortage of ammo and the fact that all enemies seem quite impervious to bullets.

So whilst it is possible to fight the monsters in this Survival Horror, I recommend that you learn when to fight and when to run away with your tail between your legs.

7. So Many Horror Tropes

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Whilst the game does have some interesting call backs to earlier titles in the series. The things that interested me more were the parts where you could tell RE7 had borrowed pieces of other horror series and plonked them in to their game.

Some that are included are Chainsaws (Texas Chainsaw Massacre), Characters grudge-walking up the stairs (The Grudge), VHS tapes (The Ring), Invulnerable stalker characters that pop up outta nowhere (Halloween/Friday the 13th), Creepy little girls (Japanese horrors) and twisted killer traps (Saw).

All of these and more are pulled together to create a game that can scare you senseless in so many ways. Whilst making you keep your eyes out for the next horror reference.

So … Go and Enjoy the Fear

If you are a gamer and haven’t played this game yet. This game demands your attention. I’m just jealous that you get to play it and experience it for the first time. I wish I could go back in time and experience it anew all over again.

Thanks for taking the time to read this … As always leave a comment or a like … follow me and check out some of my other posts.

‘The School Dropout’

 

Procrastination: Students’ best friend/worst enemy

It’s a tale as old as time, you got 101 things to do by yesterday but anytime you decide to make a start on anyone of these things, you go and find something that is infinitely more appealing. I am one of the worst people when it comes to procrastinating. But sometimes if I didn’t procrastinate I think I would probably go insane, or at least insaner (yes, I am fully aware that’s not a real word, but it should be). So today’s post is just a small list of some of my many forms of procrastination.

Gaming

The most common form of procrastination that I partake in.  Simply put I’m a gamer, I love gaming. There’s not much in this world that I love more than gaming, usually if it comes down to anything or gaming, anything can go fuck itself. This could even be something I really wanted to do, so when its gaming versus coursework, sorry coursework, I gotta go save the princess, kill some zombies, or become the god damn Dragon Born. Usually I only mean to disappear into a videogame world for a quick hour, but lo and behold, twelve hours later, I’ve caught 30 Pokémon, joined the Brotherhood of Steel, stopped Umbrella’s plans and died 100 hundred times in Dark Souls. In this time I could have read three plays, researched for essays, or wrote a short novel. Instead I now have cramp in my hand, and have only stopped gaming because the electric ran out.

Reading

I bet you’re thinking how is this procrastinating, aren’t you an English student Steve? You should be reading. Yes, I am an English student, I should be reading … the set texts. What I shouldn’t be doing is reading the Harry Potter novels for what is probably the twentieth time. I could choose to read Northanger Abbey, Shakespeare or any other text from my reading list. But no, where is the fun in doing something that could actually help my studies. Instead I’ll read The Chamber of Secrets once more time.  I’m sure at some point in my academic career knowing that Tom Riddle is the heir of Slytherin will be important. If not I may just have to invest in a time turner (what do you mean they’ve all been smashed?). Shit!

Internet

The internet is a vast resource of information that could be priceless to any student’s university studies. I could use it for good things, I could find the answer to those questions that are likely to come up in exams, I could find intelligent quotes that could support my essay arguments, they keep mentioning modernist writers, and I don’t understand what modernist means . Do I go searching through the web for these gems of knowledge? No, I go to YouTube, I go to Facebook to do a rant, or I end up on Amazon and order ten things that I don’t really need. Yes, I may have laughed at some funny videos of cats, I may have gained some Facebook likes, and I got a new shirt and pants. Am I more intelligent, is my essay finished? Nope, damn you Google Chrome.

Blogging

My newest form of procrastination, oh yes, believe me, I am procrastinating right now. But if I didn’t you wouldn’t be reading this right now and you wouldn’t be getting all these ideas for procrastinating … wait a moment that might not be a good thing … maybe I should wrap this up.

So my fellow procrastinators, I am off to do some work (ha-ha) … honestly …

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and feel free to follow my blog. if you got some expert tips for procrastinating, please leave them in a comment I’m always open to learn new bad ways to spend my time …