#30DaysofAutismAcceptance – Day 20 : Communication

Day 20.  Talk about communication.  Are you verbal? Nonverbal? Partially verbal?  How do you usually communicate?

I am verbal. I am able to communicate with people verbally. That doesn’t mean I always like it.

I dislike small talk, how are you? how is everything? I hate these questions because if you answer them literally nobody ever wants to know the answer.

If you answer with the answers people want “I’m fine/good/okay … Everything is fine/good/okay” you are lying 90% of the time.

I would much prefer a deep conversation than this mind numbing back and forth between people who don’t really seem to care how the other person is feeling.

I can do face to face conversation, I can text, one thing that I really don’t like though is conversing over the phone.

If people ring me, I will usually let it ring through and text if I don’t think it’s an emergency. I always struggle on finding my cue to speak when it comes to speaking over the phone. This results in me talking over people, or awkwardly long silences when I don’t know or realise that it is my time to speak.

I would much rather listen to someone, be spoken at, rather than speaking to someone. I have no problem with listening to people. I find this easier than talking actually, I haven’t got to use my filter so much when someone is talking to me. I just got to try and give back the proper responses. As if you give the wrong response to what someone is saying, they can get angry, upset or annoyed.

I prefer texts as it enables me to think about what my response will be, if I write a reply and it seems like it may insult, offend or upset the person I’m speaking to, I can just delete it. I cannot do this in a face to face conversation. You can say no offence, but if you need to say no offence, the chances are you’ve already offended someone. Saying no offence afterwards does not help the situation.

So yes, whilst I can communicate verbally, sometimes being non-verbal would be a nice change. (I am not trying to make light of the struggles faced by non-verbal autistics here). I am just saying that if I didn’t speak I would probably offend a lot less people.

 

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